Quotes and Jokes - 2003

"The moon is sexy. That is the sexiest moon ever." - Ge Vang

"Peaches with fuzz are good." - Matt Peddie

"Your mom's so stupid . . . [20 second pause] she thought . . . that Pocahontas . . . was a native American." - Ge

"Are you guys gonna quote me?" - Oliver Huang

"Leave the moon alone!" - Ge

"Everything's big in Texas" - Annabel Chang

"I'd like to send some love out to my baby . . . she's so light . . . she's like a pumice; she floats on water!" - Ge

"You guys, I feel like a bumblebee" - Ellie Gisler (while laying on the ground watching the stars)

"Hmmm . . . it looks like some sort of staple-pushing device." - Jesse Palmer

"I did that for when Xbox came out" - Corrie Lambrecht
"Xbox? You mean Xbox the video game?" - Ge
"No, the other kind. The kind you drive." - Matt

"I saw Steve Nash coming out of the shower once." - Annabel

"These are sour" - Ge (about grapes, after eating about .675 kilos of jellybeans)

Here, Matt, you hold these [carrots and ranch dressing], and I'll go get us some chickens" - Ge (referring to cooked chicken breasts)

"Guess what? Blondie's leaving . . . with Ellie!" - 7th graders at the pool about Matt

"Hey Ge . . . Ge . . . Ge . . . Ge, calm down. No; calm down." - Andy Gisler

" 'Captain Random' strikes again!" - Matt (about Captain Random)

(Playing poker) "Matt?" - Oliver
"Stay."
"Jesse?"
(5-second pause) "More!"
(Oliver hands him the card. He looks and after 5 seconds says,) "Wait . . . less!"

"So Ge, what's your girlfriend like?" - Galen
"I don't know [sullenly]" - Ge

"What are those?" - Oliver
"Cream Savers." - Jesse
"Are they good?"
"They're delectable!"

"Oh, crust!" - Matt

"Oops. That's a dreadful elipse" - John O'Donnell

[knocking] "Who is it? - Matt
[door opens] "Excuse me; do you want room service?" - Cleaning lady
"No thanks; we put up the 'do not disturb' sign." - Matt
"Well, if you'd like room service, we'll observe this [points to the sign]" - CL
"Okay, we'll let you know if we want it; we're here for like two weeks, so we figured---" - Matt
"Well, if you want room service, you'll have to tell me so I can tell the girls; they don't speak English." - CL
"Okay, thank you." - Matt
"Well, just let me know if you want room service, so I can tell the girls." - CL
"Okay, thank you." - Matt [closes door]
"What?" - Ge

"Stupid gringos! Took away my flan!" - Ellie

"Look, Ge, there's crab in the middle [of that sushi]" - Ellie
(Ge pulls out some vegetables) "That's not crab; that's poop crab. A crab pooped it out!" - Ge
(A little later, during the middle of a discussion on superheroes) "Hey, Elliot [meaning Ellie], have you ever had crab poop on your face?" - Ge

(Ge orders a burger with avocado. After the waitress leaves, he turns to Katie W.)"Is avocado the green stuff that [Ellie] made?" - Ge
"Uh . . . no." - Katie
"What do you think avocado is? That stuff's Avogadro." - Matt
"Oh, shoot, I'd better change my order. [To waitress] Excuse me?" - Ge

[A drawing won't come off the white board. John picks up a magic marker] "Uh oh. Oh, look, it says 'Do not shake,' and it's got little smiley faces all over it." - John

"Hey, look, four reindeers!" - Ge (about some elk on the road)

"Awww, look, Bambi!" - Ge
"Are you sure it isn't Rudolph?" - Annabel
"No; it's Blitzen. I'm positive." - Matt

"The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!" - Some pothead from SuperTroopers

"Do the gnome dance." - Matt (to Jesse who was jumping around in the dark)

"I'm hungry" - Jesse
"What are you eating?" - Oliver
'Fritos."
"Are they good?"
"They're Frito-licious!"

"Your mom!" - Ellie . . . "Your Face!" - Ge

"People don't go to New York for warm fuzzies. I go there for the freak show." - Todd Haines

"What's that?" - John
"It's a flesh-eating weasel." - Jesse
"What's it eating?"
"Flesh."

"When I get home, I'm gonna call your mom." - Matt
"I don't have to call your mom; she calls me." - Ge

 

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Jokes:

What do you call a dog with no hind legs and steel testicles?
-Sparky.

What's the integral of one over cabin d cabin?
Natural log cabin.
What's the integral of one over cabin d cabin plus c?
A houseboat.

Your mom's so ugly, she entered an ugly contest, but they turned her away and told her "Sorry, no professionals."

Why did the sheep cross the road?
Because she wanted to eat the curtains.

Here's what Jesse recored in the Ops room with his mp3 player: (press the play button)